Thursday, April 22, 2010

I think I’m Dumb or maybe just Happy

I recently heard a rumor that was quickly dispelled about Rob being considered for a Kurt Cobain Biopic. While I love me some Rob, (Fucking yeah, buddy I do) I just can't see Rob playing Kurt.  Sure Rob was great as Art in How to Be.
Floppy hair check, ugly sweater check

But there is a huge difference between being cute and neurotic and being strung out on heroin while performing. Not to mention Kurt married the ultimate Yoko.

I've heard rumors that Ewan McGregor or James McAvoy are options as well. While I adore these men I just can't wrap my head around the idea of it. Ethan Hawke fifteen years ago would have been perfect, but alas he's a little old now, given that Cobain was 27 when he died and Ethan Hawke is now….forty, Jesus Christ. is he that old!

Though it's common knowledge, let me remind you that Kurt is from the PacNor (Aberdeen) and so I want someone who is from around here to do it. In this area we hold a few things sacred. Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix and J.P. Patches. Kurt Cobain and Nirvana stand for the Northwest way of life. Come as You Are. (As long as you bring performance fleece and never carry an umbrella)

I would like to see someone who can really portray the torture and pain that Cobain exuded. He was a talisman for a generation and needs to be played by the right person. Personally I think Joe Anderson would be fabulous. I loved him in Across the Universe. His portrayal of a Vietnam vet in the 1960's was fantastic.

So please Courtney Love, don't fuck this one up. I am begging you!

Oh and FYI, way to shoot for the moon with having Scarlett Johansson play you. Dream a little Dream, huh?

I’m such a fan girl

Last night in a burst of energy I sent a fan letter to The Bloggess. If you haven't checked her out do so immediately. She is not only the funniest thing on the Internet,(and I'm sure she would be just s funny in person.) but incredibly insightful about the world. She is a true inspiration to wannabe blogger such as myself and has challenged me to want to be a better writer.

I had recently read her hilarious post of Japanese eyelash glue and felt the urge to let her know just how awesome I think she is. So I wrote her this following letter.

Dear Jenny,

Not to sound too virgin on her sweet sixteen after a few too many Mike's Hard Lemonades, but I've never done this. I've never written to someone I admire before. Probably because I feel like my letter would just get lost in that huge black hole of the Internet. Plus I have a feeling that you are a very busy woman. Yet I still find myself writing to you because you possess an odd mix of snarky humor and genuine affection for your craft. Something about you is so warm and approachable, even though I know you are now a celebrity, I still feel as if you could be my next door neighbor. You are a very talented writer and I wanted you to know that. I'm sure you knew that already, but as a hopeful writer myself, I feel you can never get too much praise. (And apparently use the word too, too often.)

Your sincerity and dedication challenges me to want to be a better writer and person. Thank you for being so honest, both with your humor and with your heart ache. I have suffering from infertility for over three years now and it was so refreshing to see your post (50 things) where you talked about forgiving yourself, your miscarriages. Something about the way you talk about makes me feel as if I'm not alone in this fight. Sorry I'm so blubbery, like I said before; I've never done this before.

Keep up the good work and I can't wait to see your book, I have every faith that you will finish and get it published. You are a famous person now.

A loyal fan,


Now, I honestly thought that she wouldn't get my email any time soon, if ever. I was resigned to the idea I may never hear from her, because let's face it; she probably gets a few more emails than me. Instead I woke up to find a sweet and person response from her.
She thanked me for writing and expressed gratitude for my letter. She also gave me some warm thoughts and well wishes in my battle with those baby blues. Her letter invigorated me and my face hurt from how smiley I was after reading it.

As if I couldn't think this woman was more awesome. Seriously! This letter has lifted my spirits and given me so much hope.

 Thank you Jenny the Bloggess.

I am a true blue fan now.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Some love for my fellow bloggers

If you do not know about Kaleb Nation, you may as well have been living under a rock. He is the hysterical author behind Twilight Guy as well as being the author of Bran Hambric-The Farfield Curse. He also is the creator of some great images including this one.

He read through the saga, writing up his thoughts on each chapter. If you haven't checked it out yet (and if you haven't where have you been?) Do so right now. (Actually read this post, then comment, then go.)

I have been slihgtly neglectful with my love for the saga. Sure I've reading my blogs, faithfully everyday I'm on Twitarded and LTT, quietly lurking on them.

However I can't resist posting this video because it has my favorite girl, Nikki Reed being interviewed by Kaleb Nation.

Man Candy

Let me preface this by saying that I have never seen all of My Own Private Idaho. I have seen portions. I remember that Matt Dillon is in it. Was Kevin Bacon in it? If so then they would have be reunited in Wild Things which is the first lesbian kiss I had seen and the first movie I ever saw a shlong. (and it had to be the Bacon's didn't it?)*

No I haven't seen all of MOPI, (shortened because I'm lazy) but I do know this, there is a gay plot line. And because of the gay plot line I have heard on several occasions that MOPI is slang for a gay man or at least a homo erotic moment. Before there was the term "Brokebackian" the was My Own Private Idaho. Though something tells me that Brokeback Mountain was a little more forthcoming on the man on man candy scenes.

I brought the idea of this term to my father who is Idahoan. (Seriously spell check, that's how you spell it? Okay…) I delightfully informed him that the Term My Own Private Idaho is one that references young gay men. He thought it was quite funny and proceeded to call up several of his friends in Idaho to tell them. I haven't heard if they think it's as funny as he did.

Mr. plays a game online, some space shoot 'em game. On the game they have an erotica board where people post pictures of women in bikinis on top of cars. Recently someone has been posting shirtless pictures of Cristian Renaldo on there. While I find this very funny and slight tantalizing, Mr. is extremely put off by this. I tried to remind him that it is a Erotica board and that not everyone's definition of erotica is a tanorexic woman in dental floss straddling a GTO. I think all he heard was straddling….

*[Fuck...So neither Matt Dillion nor Kevin Bacon were in MOPI. So apparently I am just talking out my ass and didn't pay attention at all. Sorry Gus! Well, I stand by my shlong comment. Not cool Bacon, still not cool.]

Monday, April 19, 2010

The definition of déjà vu…

 I am a totally Movie Junkie. I recently was berating a coworker for never seeing Crybaby. (one of my favorite movies of all time.) But then I realized there are so many movies that have impacted our culture that I have never seen. 

So I set off on a necessary path to righteousness, or at least to see Pretty in Pink. I loved the Breakfast Club and have always held a little flame for Emilio Estevez since Mighty Ducks fame. (Pacey Whitter! Hello!) But the biggest surprise about PIP is not the monstrocity that was Molly Ringwald's prom dress. ( I get it, she was an individual who was fashion forward and everyone else just didn't get it. Nevertheless, that dress was fucking ugly.)

No, the biggest surprise was seeing James Spader in his younger years. I am not a huge fan of his, honestly I've seen him in a few movies but forget what they are after viewing them. It's like that, with one big exception.


One scoop of creamed potatoes. A slice of butter. Four peas. Ah, dinner never sounded so sexy.

Oh Dear Lord, how much do I love this movie! The chemistry between Spader and Gyllenhal is electric. They are both such fucked up individuals who find each other. I know that some people might be turned off my Sub/Dom relationships and it certainly isn't the Notebook class love story. But when you look past the fact that they are brought together by subversive means; it is a real love story. It's about how people can hold others at arm's length at times and how love can help us want to be better people, with spankings— And carrots— and riding crops.

Watching this movie also made me realize how many movies are out there that I haven't yet seen. Including Reality Bites. You know the movie about laissez faire twenty something's trying to find their way. It has Winona before she got all sticky fingers, Ben Stiller looking super young and yuppyish, Steve Zahn who was recently quoted in Rolling Stone to saying "if you google Steve Zahn's ass you'll get like 10 images." (and of course now I can't find the link to save my life...) and  Janeane Garofalo before…well before she disappeared, I guess.

Speaking of her— I totally though that she was the voice of Daria, you know the cartoon that was on MTV in the late 90's? Or was it early 2000's? Who knows…

Any ways watching the movie I couldn't help but think about how handsome that Ethan Hawke was. He was so perfect in the movie as the brooding, Kurt Cobain wanna be. It was adorable even when he was being a huge douche and singing that Violent Femmes song; Add it up. (Which totally won me over—I love that song)

I look at your pants and I need a kiss. 

Friday, April 16, 2010

Jerky Mc Jerkisen

I made the mistake of telling some people at my work about my fear of Aliens and I came into work to see this.

Unfortunately I cannot respond to this vagrant abuse because it is being done by my boss's eleven year old daughter. So calling her an asshole probably wouldn't fly. The worst part is I never specified what kind of aliens I am afriad of. Perhaps it is illegal immigrants?

Luckily not everyone I work with is an asshole. I have a great friend, B, who picked a fight with some people at my work to get me a slice of my birthday cake that they didn't want her to cut out just because it was in the middle. She tried to make them see reason. (It was after all my bday cake too.) 
Unfortunately they were all,
"Wah, it would look weird."
And she was all 'Shut up and give me the cake!"
I give you, the cake.
Visually Dynamic...I need to stop using that phrase.

and my piece.

Yeah Bitches!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

"What do we want? Patience! When do we want it? Now!**

Do you remember when you were a child and you had to wait sooooo soooo long for things like Christmas or birthdays or the anniversary of your first bird dying.
(We had a lot of dead parakeets in my home...but that is another post for another time...Also did you know that Budgies and parakeets are the same thing, just English slang according to my Harry Potter Website. I was always imagining a squirrel when some one said Budgies.)

Buffy the Budgie (David Boreanaz not included)

When I was younger I was obsessed with Jewel. The singer. The one with the funky teeth and yodeling voice. The one who wrote a poem about mustard in the refrigerator. (Yes I still remember- it's the important things that stick out to me.)

On her album Spirit she had a song at the very end that she sang with her mother. It was a lullaby that they would sing when Jewel was a child. To listen to this track you had to listen through three whole minutes of white noise before the song started.

Don’t say I was patient at some point. But now, alas I am not. I am a very spontaneous person and have been known to go out and chop off all my hair.
Well Sinead O'Rebellion. Shock me shock me shock me with that deviant behavior.

We have grown too used to getting everything right now. And this whole Twilight obsession hasn't helped me at all. Before New Moon came out I was inundated with pictures and videos and sound clips. (They're not Bears) It was a twi-overdose. It was to the point when I was carped out dreaming of boys with keg bellies and grandpa tweed...

Now there has been news that they will be reshooting some pivotal scenes for Eclipse. I hope to holy Hell that they don't push back the release date because if they do, I swear I will go absolutely ballistic. There is no punishment that will compare to the wrath I shall inflict on...Oh right like I could do anything...Shit.

Whatever. I'll be sending out serious passive aggressive vibes as I wear my Team Edward Shirt, with my twi-bracelet and my twi-scarf and my twi-necklace as I drive in my car with a Be Safe sticker on the back.

So watch it Summit. Cause this Bitch means business!

I typed in crazy and this was the first thing to pop up. I love it.

**Credit to Al Franken

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Pacific Northwest, WA, United States
The (Somewhat) true tales of twenty something northwest woman obsessed with Twilight, Pageants and various shallow things.

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Beware of some mature content in here. You've been warned.

This is just the rantings of a woman who is slightly crazy. Obviously I am a bit narcissistic. I have obsessive tendencies toward a multitude of teenage directed materials. I should grow up already-but alas, here I am.


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