Some love for my fellow bloggers

If you do not know about Kaleb Nation, you may as well have been living under a rock. He is the hysterical author behind Twilight Guy as well as being the author of Bran Hambric-The Farfield Curse. He also is the creator of some great images including this one.

He read through the saga, writing up his thoughts on each chapter. If you haven't checked it out yet (and if you haven't where have you been?) Do so right now. (Actually read this post, then comment, then go.)

I have been slihgtly neglectful with my love for the saga. Sure I've reading my blogs, faithfully everyday I'm on Twitarded and LTT, quietly lurking on them.

However I can't resist posting this video because it has my favorite girl, Nikki Reed being interviewed by Kaleb Nation.

Northwest Profile-angry at Twilight

As a girl who has resided in the Pacific Northwest for 24 of my 25 years. I am a Western Washingtonian through and through. I can pronounce Sequim and Puyallup. I have never used an umbrella and can identify at least five different names for rain. Full list here Now, up here we have these hilarious commercials from Pemco. Northwest Profiles. They feature things inside jokes such as "Sandals with socks guy" (My Dad) and "Ski's in Rain Guy" all people I know quite well. Now because as a people we are quite pretentious. I give you my list of why Twilight pisses me off. I admit I am rambling and a huge whiner. But this is my blog and I'm going to do what I damn well please.


1. There is no bridge like the one in the opening credits near Forks. The bridge featured is the Bridge of the Gods over the Columbia River, between Washington and Oregon. The story behind this bridge is fasinating.

2. In the movie, Charlie makes a comment about Kitsap County sheriff. Now, as a local of the fine county I was glad for the publicity, having the last mention be in Walking Tall. (Which is not a favorable movie.) Now geographically there is a large county between Clallam and Kitsap. Jefferson County. I am very fond of this place, as it housed many a party where we all drank beer from a keg attached to a four wheeler. Ah, the good old days.

3. Forks is hyped to look very exciting. It is in fact a very nice small town which until Twilight came out was touted as the "Logging capital of the World." In the NW, loggers are our version of Cowboys. He don't have hicks, we have loggers. So in fact it more like this-



 And lastly. And I stress this is the most important point. YOU CANNOT DRIVE TO CANADA! No, you have to take a ferry from Port Angeles to Victoria. If you wanted to drive or run to Canada you would have to cross over three counties until you are in Seattle. Don't believe me? Take a look at a map.

As I peruse the internet

I should be working on my story now. I have the time, my hair is literally in curlers (I feel very Bloggess esque.) and I am wearing an oversized bathrobe. On a Friday night. The Mr. is taking a nap, because that's what we do, we nap.

But I digress. I should be working on my story but instead I was looking at funny pictures on the internet and  was stalking people on twitter...when this little gem came up....
Promtacular

Now, I am no fashionista, but that prom dress is rocking it. Much more so than that sad excuse for the TJ Maxx 39.95 special they got for the movie.

I'll take good care of her...because I'm certainly not doing her in that dress...

I kid I kid, sort of. I guess I can't talk; I too am guilty of a fashion faux pas or two. My prom dress made me look like Barbara Eden. Or Christina Aguilera. Whichever.



(A friend actually wrote that I was 'a genie in a bottle at prom')



No what bothers me is that so far in this series they haven't lived up to my costuming dreams. Where is crazy Alice shoving Bella into wild couture?

that’s more like it.

And don't even get me started on the Alice in Wonderland get ups from the vision...Ugh.

Vitamin R

Around these parts Rainer Beer has a huge cult following. Cheap dregs! Oh no. It is the official beer of Twilight, in the summers people make giant sand sculptures in its likeness. There is a community near me that reveres it like holy water.

So Here you go!

Bedazzling debacle

Because I am the most selfless person there has ever been, I have offered to journey the two hours, to go to Forks to purchase Twilight related items for a Twilight basket for the pageant. A regular olds saints I know.

Only for the sake of the program shall I endure this...

So on valentines day weekend R and I stayed up in Kalaloch to spend a little quality time together. Of course it was romantic and sweet and WE DROVE THROUGH FORKS!  So on the way there I had the following conversation with my husband.

R- So are you going to make me go to the twilight store.

Me-You don't have to come in, You can just wait in the car.

R-No I'll come in to....Whats it called Bedazzled by twilight.

Me-Dazzled, it's dazzled by Twilight.

R-Yeah, Bedazzled, like i said.

Me-Edward Cullen does bedazzle, Bedazzling is dumb,

R- So is Twilight

Jerk. Like he was implying that Edward Cullen looked like some Douche dressed like Andrew Dice Clay.

 

An accusation that I find very insulting. Of course There is no way the perfection that is Edward Cullen or more importantly Rob would be, well, bedazzled.

Dazzled on the other hand....

Frequently

When I was planning my wedding i frequented a forum on the Knot called Not Engaged Yet. Why there is even a forum for such a topic I'm not sure, but I assure you that the majority of the women on that frequented the site were married and bitchy. While it was fun to watch them get in arguments over what was tackier; heart shaped diamonds or regisrty cards in invitaions. Seriously. And they would torture any girl who would cluelessly wander in looking for advice on how to make her boyfriend propose. The thing that remains with me the most was that they talked  about bedazzling the vay jay jay. Yep, the Vay Jay Jay. The elusive ya.

Grammar Phonic electronic disco baby

Exactly what I would do. I'm a snatch like that.

At work I am well know as being that twat who goes around correcting grammatical mistakes. Like a ninja, I sneak around and change there to they're. I correct alot to a lot. It is a well known fact, I try to hold my tongue but I can't handle it when mistakes like these are being made. Plus we're teachers. We are in charge of the future of America and some of us don't know the difference between your and you're. That being said I can't for the life of me, spell weird right. (or is it wierd...I should only say odd from now on.) or spell separate. FYI when I went to spellcheck this Word wanted Separate to be Penetrate. Awesome.

I have a story published on Twilighted. It's called Runaway (Pimp out). I have had some issues as of late regarding getting it published because apparently i suck at punctuation. While most constructive criticism I take well, this was hard to deal with. Me? I have never made a punctuation mistake. (I realize how many there are in this post alone.) I'm the girl who actually got a "get out of jail free" card in English because I corrected something SHE wrote. True story. So I have trouble digesting the idea that my story needs work because of punctuation. Luckily my beta is fabulous and basically has been whispering sweet nothings to me for the past few days so that I don't throw my lap top off a bridge.

A day too late, but love all the same.

I am the world’s biggest procrastinator. As my mother likes to say "You work with your buns against the blade." Charming image, I know. After a long day of doing absolutely nothing at home the Mr. and I went to see Valentine’s Day. As is expected it was a cute predictable romantic comedy. (With the exception of the Bradley Cooper/Eric Dane scene....That was wonderful) Watching the scenes with Swiftner brought me back to when I first started dating R.




It was a mere two months before graduation. I needed a date for prom and as a friend I asked him. I thought he was cute and funny and smart. I didn't expect what would happen. Between April 9th and May 11th I fell completely in love with him. Insanely in love. Every time I saw him my stomach would do back flips and I couldn't help but smile. The first time he said the words I was in Victoria, BC on a choir trip. He was high on pain meds from getting all his wisdom teeth out. I didn't think he remembered it and I was too scared to bring it up. It was weeks later when we finally said it. (Sober) In August R had to go to Phoenix for school. Even though we had only been together for five months, I agreed to move down there with him.



This is the part of my story that I tell people this; if I heard of an eighteen year old girl moving to another state with her boyfriend after only dating for five months, I would say they are crazy and foolish. But the truth of the matter is, when it's right you just know. I never doubted that I was making the right choice. I knew that R was the one right away. I would have gone anywhere with him. I have never doubted how much I love him and to this day (eight years later) he still gives me butterflies.



It isn't an exciting tale. There are no vampires or werewolves. But in my opinion, first love is the most exciting feeling out there. And really the saga isn't about the supernatural creatures. It’s about love. It's about knowing deep down, when you have found the right one. It's about how love is the most exhilarating feeling ever. It's about how it can scare you to the tips of your fingers to know that giving yourself completely to another person is the most harrowing experience ever. When I was young I thought that love was for the weak. For people who needed someone to rely on. Now I know that love, real love is for the strong. You have to have an insane amount of strength to love someone completely. In the entire saga the part that strikes me the most is this.



"One thing I truly knew—knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest—was how love gave someone the power to break you."

Happy day after Valentine's Day!

I hate Miley

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!

With only a few weeks left before the pagent. I am gearing up for a rollicking good time. I have had the privilege of listening to "Party in the USA" on repeat, for two hours straight every Saturday. Have I mentioned how much I hate Miley Cyrus? I hate her. That twerp is the bane of my existance, I swear! On a good note I have a few chapters posted on Twilighted! Yeah! Momma Sworrow likes to say that I'm published now, but I disagree. Regardless, I am excited about it. Watch out SM!

Here's the link and I have decided to post teasers on her for anyone who is interested.

Click here for The Runaway.

 So with out further ado..

What? That is the worst clue ever! Yes I know....

It's Ink I think.

I love tattoo's. When I was seventeen I lied to a tatto artist that I forgot my ID in the car. To which he replied "I don't care just give my forty bucks." So began my tatto extravaganza. I am a huge pansy so after I get one I say never again. Then time passes and one day I get impulsive. Every tattoo I have was impulsive. As Twilight is my whole life right now I am trying to tell myself that I don't need a Twilight tattoo. But my self control is wavering. Originally I wanted to get this one.

Then I thought go big or go home. If I'm going to do this I need to do it right. As inspiration I give you some of my role models.

I'm not understanding the tree. The Meadow?

Placement matters. Next to the sunflower really?

It took me about two minutes to read this.

And my personal favorite.

Nothing says sexy like punched in the face Edward

I tease but I am fairly certain the next time I've had a few too many mojitos I will be laying face down in a leather chair being worked over by some guy named Shit House Martinez. And the final product will be better then all of these. I guarantee you.

Cam I am

I am a huge OC fan. Seth Cohen is the cutest funniest thing I had ever seen on TV. Ryan Atwood was so badass I could help but love him. And then in season three we met a young man with abs of steel and a wicked grin. Kevin Volchek. He was a total douche bag and yet you couldn't keep your eyes off him.

Hey I'm Sexy!

It wasn't hard to see why Marissa got dirty with him. I would imagine he'd be a nice escape for her wild ways. Then he was in the movie about fighting I haven't seen it but I've seen his shirtless pictures.  That's good enough right.? Then he was James. Oh the evil conniving sexy James. His washboard abs and his ratty wig. He was devious perfection. When he dropped down into the boat with Buttcrack Santa my heart went a flutter. (Side note he held himself up above the camera holding onto the rafters until his cue. That is some amazing upperbody strength!) During the holiday season I would go into the Gap more times then I could count just to see this picture.

I'm the mood for khakis and button down shirts

So to toast the amazingness that is our devilish James here is some Cam Porn.

The Beotch Theory

Many girls want to be doctors or lawyers when the grow up. Maybe a nice teacher or a chef. I've only wanted to be one thing. A bitch. Yes that's right a BITCH. I love bitches. They add a little spice to a otherwise boring tale. Elle Woods is cute but give me Vivienne Kensington anyday. I adored Taylor Towsend immediately. She was hard and snooty and crazy. While everyone else was rooting for the goonies but I loved Mama Frattelli. You'd be crabby if you had to deal with sloth.

Meet my home girl

I suppose it is because I am not a very mean person but I'm drawn to them. The Gretchen Wiener to the Regina George's of the world. (Her hair is so big because it's full of secrets.) Regina was a force to be reckoned with. When she said the immortal words.

Like this one time, I got this really expensive doll house from Germany, but I never played with it. So my mom wanted to give it to my cousin. But even though I didn't want it...I threw it down the stairs.

Yes! That is my kind of girl! She was everything I wanted to be . In every movie I have a favorite character and she is always the bitch. Ala some of my faves:

Kat Stratford-10 things I hate about you: I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls.

Carolyn Burnham-American Beauty Honey, I'm so proud of you. I watched you very closely, and you didn't screw up once!

I have a lot to look up to apparently.

Quite poetic don't you think? I even tend to listen to angry bitch music. A little Misery Business or Smile can make my frown turn upside down. As sweet as Sandy is I have always rooted for Rizzo. That girl can rock it.

Ok, so what do you guys think this is a gang bang?

This brings me to my favorite b to the oetch. Rosalie Hale. That girl can work it. The moment I met her (We're BFF's by the way) I adored her. The evil looks and beautiful sneers. Here icy demeanor and biting remarks. She was a vision in couture. Most people are surprised to find this out. I am Team Rosalie all the way. Don't get me wrong I love Bella and Edward. I think Alice is delightful and I have a huge soft spot for Jasper and Emmett. But when it come to my girl crush Rosalie has me heart and soul. A mega bitch just adds a little flair to the story. Like Tabasco.

                                    

There is nothing like an opinionated girl to get the party started. And to kick things off here's a video tribute to the awesomeness that is Rosalie Hale.

The Ginger Lover

In my earlier years I dated a few men. For the most part I dated boys who were different races, hair colors and one I'm fairly sure a different orientation. Up until I started dating my Mr. Sorrow I had never dated a red head. Sure I've thought they were cute but to be honest there aren't too many around. My husband won me over with his wit and compassion. His sparkling eyes and rough hands. (sorry sweetie!) I fell in love with him almost automatically. After we had been dating for a few month i realized just how many attractive gingers there are. The first one I noticed was Max Collins from Eve 6.

Hello Gingie Lover

After taking note of him I started seeing more and more redheads around. I find red hair to be an endearing quality and am glad that my husband has it. I did notice some antipathy towards the ginger community. Most notably a certain hysterical South Park episode. (I found a twilight/southpark mash up and couldn't help it.)

 It also seems to be a club that very few can live in. Mr. Sorrow recently heard that redhead are going extinct by procreating with nonredheads. (ie your truly) Since that he has been calling himself the endearing name of "The Breeder" Yes my husband wants to repopulate the planet with gingers.Apparently I have a lot to live up to.  I have faith that our children will end up like this.

Royal Ginger

Not like this;

I hate David Carruso

I believe that there are quite a few good looking red heads out there. I say give them a chance. They'll make it worth your while. And because he is by far my favorite ginger aside from Mr. Sorrow I want you to bask in the cuteness that is Rupert Grint.

Just ignore that stupid girls head and that ridiculous necklace. Unless it's a lock for the hand cuffs and then that's okay.

I have noticed with the exception of Victoria there is a lack of redheads in Twilight. It would be nice to see a little representation in the story.Some might bring up the fact that Edward  has bronze hair. This is true however auburn is different then the bright red I'm talking about. Real Gingers. It would great to see some gingie love in the movie. Perhaps one of the newborns? That would make my day. So pretty please with J.Rath on top give our amber haired friends a chance.
.

Ginger love story

If you would like to read a romantic, trippy and enthralling story check out Still Life with Woodpecker is sort of a love story that takes place inside a pack of Camel cigarettes. It reveals the purpose of the moon, explains the difference between criminals and outlaws, examines the conflict between social activism and romantic individualism, and paints a portrait of contemporary society that includes powerful Arabs, exiled royalty, and pregnant cheerleaders. It also deals with the problem of redheads.

The beginning of the end

I thought I knew what it was to love something. I had dated my husband for five years before getting married. I had shows that I watched religously. I thought I knew happiness.Up until September of 2008 I had never known obsession. Times were simpler then. I was a newlywed who helped my friends planning their weddings. I would go out with friends. I like to hike sometimes with my husband. We had no idea what would happen to me in a few months.

If only we knew what was in store......

It was Momma Sorrow who told me to read the books. I said I wasn't interested in reading a book about vampires that was written for twelve year olds. She urged me to try it. To placate her I took the book home. I began to read and finished the book that night. After work I went to the store and bought all four books in hardback. (Mr. Sorrow was not happy about that) I devoured the books in less then a week. I cried in New Moon. I spit on my book during eclipse. I stayed up until three in the morning finishing Breaking Dawn. My normally clean house became a disaster zone. I refused to do any housework and Mr.Sorrow had to remind me to eat.

When I reread them. I read them cover to cover, back to back until the movie came out. I saw the movie three days in a row at the theater. I went by myself book in hand and waited in line behind a group of prepubescent girls with Team Edward shirts. I kept my hood up to not be noticed by any of my peers. I confided in my best friend my obsession and she too soon was hooked. Together we saw the movie seven times. (Mind you that was together, we each saw in alone at least twice) We watched The Goblet Of Fire just to see R.Patz and then we watched the hours of special features. We then watched The Order of the Phoenix just to see his picture move for about two seconds. Pathetic yes. Worth it? Shit Yeah.

Hello there my young lover

Thank goodness you we're of age when this picture was taken.

We preordered the movie the day it was avaliable. I was done for. Eventually I began to acknowledge the hubby sometime around February. Since then I have walked a delicate line between abandonment and good wife.

K.Stew most articulate performance

The jury is still out on Kristin Stewarts acting skills. I liked her for the five minutes she was in Into The Wild. I never saw panic room but she was ten or something when that came out. I read Speak long ago and was very pleased with her performance in the movie. however it should go without saying that she hardly "speaks" in the movie. (Oh aren't I witty.) I was impressed with her variation of Melinda. I thought it was a powerful performance.

This is my happy face

In Twilight I'm not so sure. She certainly has the clumsy awkwardness down. It's  her charm and likability that is hard to connect with. It could be in part because she doesn't come across as gracious for the huge cash cow that landed in her lap along with a super sexy costar.

That would turn my frown upside down

I recently heard about this little indie movie directed by Mary Stuart Masterson (To Wanda!) that costared K.Stew. I heard it was a gritty "Walk to Remember" (BTW bambi is grittier than a walk to remember) I decided to give it a try. I have to say that this is not a tween movie. Of course this isn't a tween blog so I am assuming you are all mature enough to see this movie. I found Kristen's portrayal very moving and endearing. She exuded the warmth I wish we could see in Twilight. If she put that much into Bella we'd be in business. The thing that strikes me the most is that she plays a girl with Friedreich's ataxia, a nueroligical disease that causes damage to muscle control as well as speech. Simply put she sounds drunk all the time and falls a lot. And she was far more articulate then in Twilight.

sputter Uh, urm a no no no. you you you sputter

So if you are up for a good Kristen Stewart performance, I would suggest The Cake Eaters. Here is a trailer if you don't believe me.

I'll be your lover too

I have been hearing reports that Robert Pattinson might be contributing to the Eclipse soundtrack.If this is the case I hope it goes through.. At the end of Twilight when Bella is dying I was stuck by the haunting music and soulful voice of the singer. I quickly researched it to find out that it was our own Rob. He contributed not one but two beautiful songs to the movie.

I will wrap you in my arms and you'll know you've been saved

swoon!

I certainly hope that Rob will get to produce at least one song for the soundtrack. I personally would buy anything if he was singing on it. (Who am I kidding I'm this close to buying a 100 monkeys CD) So to sway any naysayers I give you the musical stylings of Robert Pattinson singing my favorite of his songs.

I can't get over how soulful his voice is. He sounds so great and his lyrics are so touching. I can't wait to hear more from him. Also I know that this song is originally a Van Morrison. I just really like Rob's rendition.

cool rider

As I was perusing some pictures of Bella and Jacob working on the motorcycles. I was reminded of a nagging feeling no matter the number of times I have seen these pictures every time I see them I can’t help but sing “Cool Rider” from Grease 2. Which makes me wonder if they’ll break into singing “Who’s that guy” when Jacob shows up at the school in Eclipse.

He came out of the darkness in the middle of the night,
Blazing like a mother with a fist of dynamite.

It could just be the Liza Minelli in me but I would love a good musical number. It would certainly add a little jazz to the story. (Rim shot). And for fun here is Michelle Phieffer in Grease 2. The most underated musical sequel. (Open for interpretation.)

confession time

I am crazy about Robert Pattinson. I love when he mumbles and talks about his toenails. When he wore the same stupid hat every frickin day while filming Remember Me. He just exudes a dirty sexy (and probably a little smelly) feeling. I say all this because when I first read twilight I wasn't sure if he would work. I was picturing someone darker. Someone who could be sinister. Someone you could be afraid of. Someone like I don't know.....This guy.

Hello Older Lover

I had seen Robert Pattinson in Harry Potter and doubted Cedric Diggory could pull off the darkness of Twilight. Edward was tortured and kinda creepy at times. I couldn't imagine him as sexy enough. And then I started looking into pictures of him. Such as these.

Sorry Damon Salvatore Robward wins.

Then I saw the movie. When you looked at Bella like you were going to tear out her throat I fell in love. I hadn't felt my heart skip like that since JTT was on the cover of Tiger Beat.

Hello my first boy toy lover

After some excessive twilighting research I was hooked. I am officially Team Rob. He won me over Body and soul and squee's. So as an apology to Rob (Because I know he is heartbroken by my admission. Here is a tribute to the wonderfulness that is Robert Pattinson.

You're welcome.