Man Candy

Let me preface this by saying that I have never seen all of My Own Private Idaho. I have seen portions. I remember that Matt Dillon is in it. Was Kevin Bacon in it? If so then they would have be reunited in Wild Things which is the first lesbian kiss I had seen and the first movie I ever saw a shlong. (and it had to be the Bacon's didn't it?)*

No I haven't seen all of MOPI, (shortened because I'm lazy) but I do know this, there is a gay plot line. And because of the gay plot line I have heard on several occasions that MOPI is slang for a gay man or at least a homo erotic moment. Before there was the term "Brokebackian" the was My Own Private Idaho. Though something tells me that Brokeback Mountain was a little more forthcoming on the man on man candy scenes.

I brought the idea of this term to my father who is Idahoan. (Seriously spell check, that's how you spell it? Okay…) I delightfully informed him that the Term My Own Private Idaho is one that references young gay men. He thought it was quite funny and proceeded to call up several of his friends in Idaho to tell them. I haven't heard if they think it's as funny as he did.

Mr. plays a game online, some space shoot 'em game. On the game they have an erotica board where people post pictures of women in bikinis on top of cars. Recently someone has been posting shirtless pictures of Cristian Renaldo on there. While I find this very funny and slight tantalizing, Mr. is extremely put off by this. I tried to remind him that it is a Erotica board and that not everyone's definition of erotica is a tanorexic woman in dental floss straddling a GTO. I think all he heard was straddling….

*[Fuck...So neither Matt Dillion nor Kevin Bacon were in MOPI. So apparently I am just talking out my ass and didn't pay attention at all. Sorry Gus! Well, I stand by my shlong comment. Not cool Bacon, still not cool.]

The definition of déjà vu…

 I am a totally Movie Junkie. I recently was berating a coworker for never seeing Crybaby. (one of my favorite movies of all time.) But then I realized there are so many movies that have impacted our culture that I have never seen. 

So I set off on a necessary path to righteousness, or at least to see Pretty in Pink. I loved the Breakfast Club and have always held a little flame for Emilio Estevez since Mighty Ducks fame. (Pacey Whitter! Hello!) But the biggest surprise about PIP is not the monstrocity that was Molly Ringwald's prom dress. ( I get it, she was an individual who was fashion forward and everyone else just didn't get it. Nevertheless, that dress was fucking ugly.)

No, the biggest surprise was seeing James Spader in his younger years. I am not a huge fan of his, honestly I've seen him in a few movies but forget what they are after viewing them. It's like that, with one big exception.

Secretary.

One scoop of creamed potatoes. A slice of butter. Four peas. Ah, dinner never sounded so sexy.

 

Oh Dear Lord, how much do I love this movie! The chemistry between Spader and Gyllenhal is electric. They are both such fucked up individuals who find each other. I know that some people might be turned off my Sub/Dom relationships and it certainly isn't the Notebook class love story. But when you look past the fact that they are brought together by subversive means; it is a real love story. It's about how people can hold others at arm's length at times and how love can help us want to be better people, with spankings— And carrots— and riding crops.

Watching this movie also made me realize how many movies are out there that I haven't yet seen. Including Reality Bites. You know the movie about laissez faire twenty something's trying to find their way. It has Winona before she got all sticky fingers, Ben Stiller looking super young and yuppyish, Steve Zahn who was recently quoted in Rolling Stone to saying "if you google Steve Zahn's ass you'll get like 10 images." (and of course now I can't find the link to save my life...) and  Janeane Garofalo before…well before she disappeared, I guess.



Speaking of her— I totally though that she was the voice of Daria, you know the cartoon that was on MTV in the late 90's? Or was it early 2000's? Who knows…

Any ways watching the movie I couldn't help but think about how handsome that Ethan Hawke was. He was so perfect in the movie as the brooding, Kurt Cobain wanna be. It was adorable even when he was being a huge douche and singing that Violent Femmes song; Add it up. (Which totally won me over—I love that song)

I look at your pants and I need a kiss. 

I hope the aliens never come to get me.

Last night I was sitting in my disco tub with the Mr., drinking wine and looking up at the stars. Very romantic, I know. Now, a few days ago Mr. swears that he saw an UFO. Of course me being a fuck-tard, had to start asking him about Aliens. As in Extraterrestrials...as in martians…as in little green men as in…okay, I have no more names for them. I am undecided as to my thoughts on whether or not there are in fact aliens. On one hand it seems like the universe is very expansive and there would be some sort of higher being out there. On the other hand, I’m human, selfish, narcissistic and a bit of a douche bundle. Ergo; I am the highest being any where. Plus I’m American which means that there is no one more fantastic than me…Just ask me.

Although my theories on Aliens are not entirely formed. I have a huge fear of them. If in fact they are real, I have no doubt that they would kidnap me and torture me with things like the Macarena and anal beads bought at your local Castles…(Hey, they’d be investigating our lives, could you blame them?...Not that either one is my life…Fuck…)

Jousting set not included

The Mr. tried to explain why I should be afraid of the visitors from space because the chances of them being sadistic are low. Because friendly aliens are every where.



So, I am terrified by aliens. Ghosts not so much. The basic theories behind ghosts are that they at some point were human, like me. So on some level I’m sure I could related to them, although of course there would be that one asshole ghost who is like that guy at your Halloween party who dresses up as a cowboy, grabs his balls frequently and tries to explain the perks of fucking “a dandy donkey.”

She is really funny too!

But for the most part the ghosts would be fairly nice. With the obvious exception of the psychopathic ghosts. About 0.1 % of the Earths population is psychopaths. We're talking worse than your run of the mill Sebastian Valmount; no were talking Jame Gumb, starving women to wear their skins.

I reason that if the earthly realm has that many, that the ghost world would too. So I will take my chances, that I may some day run into a sociopathic ghost hell bent on killing me. Because that seems better than ET.

Get the fuck away from me!

Happy Birthday to my parents.

A few odd years ago, my parents were born. On the same day, in the same year. Mere hours apart and an entire state away. On their 29th birthday my Mom went into labor with me; giving me a birthday the day after theirs. My parent were always the cool parents, the fun parents. All my friends wanted my aprents for their own. Jealous, bitches.

My Father likes to be called "Your Awesomeness" and my mother is the spitting image of Rachel Greene from Friends. Yeah, she's that good looking. It is impossible not to love my parents.

 They totally rock and I wish I could give them a tribute that they truly deserve but instead I want to show the best picture of them ever taken. The photographic proof that my parents can party down.

Yes, this is my parents. No you cannot borrow them.

Happy Birthday Your Awesomeness and Beans.

I love you!