Monday, October 26, 2009

Strawberry Wine

I am in no way saying that little Taylor is good looking. I would never dare to look at him without his shirt on. I have every intention of covering my eyes when he is on screen shirtless. (All twenty times I will see the movie in theaters) He is not legal and it is wrong, so very very wrong. For instance I won't be looking at this.

 eyes averted.

I have no intention of having any thoughts about little TayTay. That is until oh lets say February 11th (I'm just pulling that number out of no where) and then it will be free game. I can look to my heart content. I realize that technically he would be 17 while filming Eclipse however he will be 18 by the time the movie is released there for I am only half a cougar.

Now here is my question to you. What would you call a twenty something girl (Ah-hem) who may or may not find a 18 year old attractive. Would that be a cougar? Perhaps a puma or a jaguar? Personally I'd like to think of myself as a leopard. Rawr. So I'd like to dedicate a little song to TayCob. Keep it up there little guy.

Of strawberry wine and seventeen
The hot July moon saw everything
My first taste of love oh bittersweet
Green on the vine
Like strawberry wine

~Deanna Carter

It's Ink I think.

I love tattoo's. When I was seventeen I lied to a tatto artist that I forgot my ID in the car. To which he replied "I don't care just give my forty bucks." So began my tatto extravaganza. I am a huge pansy so after I get one I say never again. Then time passes and one day I get impulsive. Every tattoo I have was impulsive. As Twilight is my whole life right now I am trying to tell myself that I don't need a Twilight tattoo. But my self control is wavering. Originally I wanted to get this one.

Then I thought go big or go home. If I'm going to do this I need to do it right. As inspiration I give you some of my role models.

I'm not understanding the tree. The Meadow?

Placement matters. Next to the sunflower really?

It took me about two minutes to read this.

And my personal favorite.

Nothing says sexy like punched in the face Edward

I tease but I am fairly certain the next time I've had a few too many mojitos I will be laying face down in a leather chair being worked over by some guy named Shit House Martinez. And the final product will be better then all of these. I guarantee you.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Mike Dexter is a God

When I was in Junior High this little teen movie came out that I became obsessed with. It was called Can't Hardly Wait. You've heard of it? I loved it for so many reasons. It had the adorable Ethan Embry who was in Empire Records (On my top ten list always) as well as Seth Green who for some reason I just heart. When Aman Duh first walked through the door Sneaker Pimps 6 Underground played. It also featured this jerk of a character Mike Dexter.

Mike Dexter is a god, Mike Dexter is a role model, Mike Dexter is an asshole

I didn't see much of Peter Facinelli after that. A small role here and there. He was on Damages (Awesome show BTW) But it appeared that Mike Dexter was gone. And then like phoenix from the ashes came Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Kind and compassionate a lover not a fighter. He was fantastic. He was the polar opposite of Mike Dexter. At first I was a little freaked out by the hair. Actually I'm still a little freaked out by the hair but whatever. The fact remains that I love Carlisle. He is a good looking man and I appreciated him even in a blonde boufant.

Carlisle Cullen is a God

And the fact remains that he the only actor in the movie that I can look out without feeling like a pedophile. He is in fact ten years older then me, which is a pleasant thought given that I am older then even Jackson. So I can officially look at one Cullen without being arrested.

Thursday, October 22, 2009


So as I was doing my daily perusing of my twilight blogs I obsess over. I came across this questionaire from the great STY and JJ at Twitarded. I thought I would give it a shot. Enjoy!

1) What is the craziest/most stupid thing you've ever done (that you would be willing to share!)? I did the I-5 dive much like bungie jumping once. I've done more stupid things then I can count. I did get caught at a local bar by a parent of one of my students with a giant inflatable penis. After that she called me "pecker girl"

My little buddy

2) One my personal favorite games: Fuck, Marry, Kill. With the Twilight cast. I can't wait to read these! (Or "Eff, Marry, Kill" if you don't have my potty mouth.)**
Fuck Jasper, Kill Jessica, Marry Emmett

3) What is your favorite band/type of music? I've been getting into a lot of emo music lately. Also Lady gaga has been in consant rotation on my ipod. Random I know. But I like just about anything.

4) What is your favorite movie besides Twilight? Rent.

no way, can i be what i'm not
but hey, don't you want your girl hot?don't fight,

don't loose your head 'cause every night
who's in your bed?
who's in your bed?
(I think we all know the answer to that question.)

5) Do you RL life family/friends know you’re addicted to Twilight? A blogger? Yes but the extent of my obsession is not known.

6) How many hours a week do you spend doing Twi related things? You know, blogging, looking at pictures of the cast, reading fan fiction, etc. at least twenty

7) Any random fact you might want to share. Big or small, it doesn't matter. I can't blow bubble gum bubbles. I never was Taught. (Who's fault is that Momma Sorrow?)

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Scary merch

 I was looking around on one of favorite non twilight sites a while back and found something quite disturbing. Behold the beauty of the twilight cake.

As if that wasn't frightning enough i found a plethra of scary merchandise out there. I'm sure you've all seen this.

Not how I was picturing showing with R.Patz
I also found this jem.

Why does that Gieco commercial play in my head.
I always feel like someone's watching me.....

I also found the mother of all dolls. I give you porn star Bella. Can't you just see her with a smokers cough and a crossed out heart tattoo?

Hey there big boy

And because I am glutton for punishment I give you a nontwilight fright.

Sweet Jesus it burns!

Confession Tuesday

I have a girl crush. It's not that hard when it comes to the women that are in Twilight. They are all smoldering little dishes. (creepy talk) I have had a girl crush on Nikki Reed since she was in Thirteen. As Evie she was the biggest badass known to adolescence. But I digress because today my love is for one girl only. Julia Jones. I was so excited when I saw her cast as Leah because she is absolutely gorgeous.

More like a wolverine

As I have previously stated I love bitches. Leah comes in second to Rosalie in the Bitch o meter. (TM Sorrow) That is a hard feat to achieve. Julia is everything I wanted her to be. Beautiful, lusious and cold. I hope that she gives a good performance because a lot is riding on her role. (at least I think so) I also really hoipe that they will let her have the scene in Breaking Dawn where she tells Jacob that she feels for Rosalie. It is a moment that brought tears to my eyes. Live long and prosper Julia! I have faith in you.

you know you want to hit that

Monday, October 19, 2009

Cam I am

I am a huge OC fan. Seth Cohen is the cutest funniest thing I had ever seen on TV. Ryan Atwood was so badass I could help but love him. And then in season three we met a young man with abs of steel and a wicked grin. Kevin Volchek. He was a total douche bag and yet you couldn't keep your eyes off him.

Hey I'm Sexy!
It wasn't hard to see why Marissa got dirty with him. I would imagine he'd be a nice escape for her wild ways. Then he was in the movie about fighting I haven't seen it but I've seen his shirtless pictures.  That's good enough right.? Then he was James. Oh the evil conniving sexy James. His washboard abs and his ratty wig. He was devious perfection. When he dropped down into the boat with Buttcrack Santa my heart went a flutter. (Side note he held himself up above the camera holding onto the rafters until his cue. That is some amazing upperbody strength!) During the holiday season I would go into the Gap more times then I could count just to see this picture.

I'm the mood for khakis and button down shirts

So to toast the amazingness that is our devilish James here is some Cam Porn.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

The Beotch Theory

Many girls want to be doctors or lawyers when the grow up. Maybe a nice teacher or a chef. I've only wanted to be one thing. A bitch. Yes that's right a BITCH. I love bitches. They add a little spice to a otherwise boring tale. Elle Woods is cute but give me Vivienne Kensington anyday. I adored Taylor Towsend immediately. She was hard and snooty and crazy. While everyone else was rooting for the goonies but I loved Mama Frattelli. You'd be crabby if you had to deal with sloth.

Meet my home girl

I suppose it is because I am not a very mean person but I'm drawn to them. The Gretchen Wiener to the Regina George's of the world. (Her hair is so big because it's full of secrets.) Regina was a force to be reckoned with. When she said the immortal words.

Like this one time, I got this really expensive doll house from Germany, but I never played with it. So my mom wanted to give it to my cousin. But even though I didn't want it...I threw it down the stairs.

Yes! That is my kind of girl! She was everything I wanted to be . In every movie I have a favorite character and she is always the bitch. Ala some of my faves:

Kat Stratford-10 things I hate about you: I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls.

Carolyn Burnham-American Beauty Honey, I'm so proud of you. I watched you very closely, and you didn't screw up once!

I have a lot to look up to apparently.

Quite poetic don't you think? I even tend to listen to angry bitch music. A little Misery Business or Smile can make my frown turn upside down. As sweet as Sandy is I have always rooted for Rizzo. That girl can rock it.

Ok, so what do you guys think this is a gang bang?

This brings me to my favorite b to the oetch. Rosalie Hale. That girl can work it. The moment I met her (We're BFF's by the way) I adored her. The evil looks and beautiful sneers. Here icy demeanor and biting remarks. She was a vision in couture. Most people are surprised to find this out. I am Team Rosalie all the way. Don't get me wrong I love Bella and Edward. I think Alice is delightful and I have a huge soft spot for Jasper and Emmett. But when it come to my girl crush Rosalie has me heart and soul. A mega bitch just adds a little flair to the story. Like Tabasco.

There is nothing like an opinionated girl to get the party started. And to kick things off here's a video tribute to the awesomeness that is Rosalie Hale.

Friday, October 16, 2009

The Ginger Lover

In my earlier years I dated a few men. For the most part I dated boys who were different races, hair colors and one I'm fairly sure a different orientation. Up until I started dating my Mr. Sorrow I had never dated a red head. Sure I've thought they were cute but to be honest there aren't too many around. My husband won me over with his wit and compassion. His sparkling eyes and rough hands. (sorry sweetie!) I fell in love with him almost automatically. After we had been dating for a few month i realized just how many attractive gingers there are. The first one I noticed was Max Collins from Eve 6.

Hello Gingie Lover

After taking note of him I started seeing more and more redheads around. I find red hair to be an endearing quality and am glad that my husband has it. I did notice some antipathy towards the ginger community. Most notably a certain hysterical South Park episode. (I found a twilight/southpark mash up and couldn't help it.)

 It also seems to be a club that very few can live in. Mr. Sorrow recently heard that redhead are going extinct by procreating with nonredheads. (ie your truly) Since that he has been calling himself the endearing name of "The Breeder" Yes my husband wants to repopulate the planet with gingers.Apparently I have a lot to live up to.  I have faith that our children will end up like this.

Royal Ginger

Not like this;

I hate David Carruso

I believe that there are quite a few good looking red heads out there. I say give them a chance. They'll make it worth your while. And because he is by far my favorite ginger aside from Mr. Sorrow I want you to bask in the cuteness that is Rupert Grint.

Just ignore that stupid girls head and that ridiculous necklace. Unless it's a lock for the hand cuffs and then that's okay.

I have noticed with the exception of Victoria there is a lack of redheads in Twilight. It would be nice to see a little representation in the story.Some might bring up the fact that Edward  has bronze hair. This is true however auburn is different then the bright red I'm talking about. Real Gingers. It would great to see some gingie love in the movie. Perhaps one of the newborns? That would make my day. So pretty please with J.Rath on top give our amber haired friends a chance.

Ginger love story

If you would like to read a romantic, trippy and enthralling story check out Still Life with Woodpecker is sort of a love story that takes place inside a pack of Camel cigarettes. It reveals the purpose of the moon, explains the difference between criminals and outlaws, examines the conflict between social activism and romantic individualism, and paints a portrait of contemporary society that includes powerful Arabs, exiled royalty, and pregnant cheerleaders. It also deals with the problem of redheads.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

The beginning of the end

I thought I knew what it was to love something. I had dated my husband for five years before getting married. I had shows that I watched religously. I thought I knew happiness.Up until September of 2008 I had never known obsession. Times were simpler then. I was a newlywed who helped my friends planning their weddings. I would go out with friends. I like to hike sometimes with my husband. We had no idea what would happen to me in a few months.

If only we knew what was in store......

It was Momma Sorrow who told me to read the books. I said I wasn't interested in reading a book about vampires that was written for twelve year olds. She urged me to try it. To placate her I took the book home. I began to read and finished the book that night. After work I went to the store and bought all four books in hardback. (Mr. Sorrow was not happy about that) I devoured the books in less then a week. I cried in New Moon. I spit on my book during eclipse. I stayed up until three in the morning finishing Breaking Dawn. My normally clean house became a disaster zone. I refused to do any housework and Mr.Sorrow had to remind me to eat.

When I reread them. I read them cover to cover, back to back until the movie came out. I saw the movie three days in a row at the theater. I went by myself book in hand and waited in line behind a group of prepubescent girls with Team Edward shirts. I kept my hood up to not be noticed by any of my peers. I confided in my best friend my obsession and she too soon was hooked. Together we saw the movie seven times. (Mind you that was together, we each saw in alone at least twice) We watched The Goblet Of Fire just to see R.Patz and then we watched the hours of special features. We then watched The Order of the Phoenix just to see his picture move for about two seconds. Pathetic yes. Worth it? Shit Yeah.

Hello there my young lover
Thank goodness you we're of age when this picture was taken.

We preordered the movie the day it was avaliable. I was done for. Eventually I began to acknowledge the hubby sometime around February. Since then I have walked a delicate line between abandonment and good wife.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

New Video I found

I know that we have all seen the trailer over and over again but I can't help but post this great fan made video that perfectly captures Bella's heartbreak.


Confession Tuesday

I have decided to make Tuesday. Confession Tuesday. Has a nice ring don't you think? So my confession involves a certain ruddy cheeked, flannel wearing man. (shocked I know) I am still coming to terms with my Robsession. I pretend that it isn't that strong but then I scoured the internet for any new pictures of him walking from a restuarant to a cab. I spend a huge chunk of my day reading about him, his favorite foods and beer. (Heiney for my man.)

I could watch this clip over and over. I love Austin Powers. Also I am representing the fabulous Canucks that are harboring our mumbling boy.

This isn't about Heineken though. This is about a small indie movie. (Not little ashes that is whole other post entirely) No this is about How To Be. Have you heard of it. I thought so. It wouldn't be out in the states so I pulled a fast one and I preordered it from in late August. I waited patiently for two weeks to have it delivered to me. I tore the cardboard and threw away the british ads. I eagerly put it into the dvd player and nothing. Thinking that my brand new dvd player was broken I put it into my computer. Nothingness. Little did I know DVDs from the UK don't work here. I spent the money to have a useless DVD sent to me from Great Britain.

This is me

Monday, October 12, 2009

Miss Fancy Pants

Sister Sorrow is very involved in pageants. She has held several titles over the years. Although I am three years older then her everytime she competes they try to recruit me. I polietly inform them that I am too old and too married. (not to mention completely nontalented.) Enjoy this video of my dancing abilities.

Just take a wild guess which one is me. Hint I'm the idiot who fell down.

I do regret not doing pageants when I was older. It would have been a great way to brush up on my mad interview skills not to mention who doesn't like prancing around in bikini in front of thousands of people. This made me think of Bella. How would Bella do in a pageant? I would imagine horribly. (much like me.) She would probably fall off the stage. KStew would probably do a good job though. I can see her breaking it down old school. A little jig perhaps. You don't see it? Okay maybe not. But wouldn't she make a cute pageant girl? She could be Miss Ganja. Or Miss Stutterific.

Blank Expression check

And I give you a funny video of a Pageant song. Warning it contains very adult themes.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Love for the Newt

I am struck by the idea that Mike Newton doesn't get the props he deserves. Michael Welch is a cute guy. If he was in any other movie he would be just fine. The problem is that he is surronded by these guys to compare to.


oops how'd he get in here?

Poor Newt never stood a chance. I wish that he could get the recognition he deserves. He is cute boy when he wants to be.

I'm only talking to you because my brain is bleeding

I can appreciate Mike Newton. It is obvious that had those super hot sparkly vampires never shown up Mike would have been the big man on campus. We all went to school with Mike Newton. The lovable jock who was cute and funny. Some of us dated Mike Newton. (I dated the Eric Yorkie's and not the cute Justin Chon character but the nerdy chess club kid from the book.) I know I had a friends that went out with Mike. He is a good enough boy in a small town. That is all he is. I have no doubts that had the Cullens never came to Forks Bella would have given Mike a chance. (I'm not sure about Jacob, maybe when they were older....) Of course the story wouldn't have been very good. Nobodu really cares about an awkward stumbling girl who falls in love with some random jock from school. Whoop de do! So give The Newt a chance if not for his everyday cuteness for the fact that he likes the Boobs. (And I have those.)

K.Stew most articulate performance

The jury is still out on Kristin Stewarts acting skills. I liked her for the five minutes she was in Into The Wild. I never saw panic room but she was ten or something when that came out. I read Speak long ago and was very pleased with her performance in the movie. however it should go without saying that she hardly "speaks" in the movie. (Oh aren't I witty.) I was impressed with her variation of Melinda. I thought it was a powerful performance.

This is my happy face

In Twilight I'm not so sure. She certainly has the clumsy awkwardness down. It's  her charm and likability that is hard to connect with. It could be in part because she doesn't come across as gracious for the huge cash cow that landed in her lap along with a super sexy costar.

That would turn my frown upside down

I recently heard about this little indie movie directed by Mary Stuart Masterson (To Wanda!) that costared K.Stew. I heard it was a gritty "Walk to Remember" (BTW bambi is grittier than a walk to remember) I decided to give it a try. I have to say that this is not a tween movie. Of course this isn't a tween blog so I am assuming you are all mature enough to see this movie. I found Kristen's portrayal very moving and endearing. She exuded the warmth I wish we could see in Twilight. If she put that much into Bella we'd be in business. The thing that strikes me the most is that she plays a girl with Friedreich's ataxia, a nueroligical disease that causes damage to muscle control as well as speech. Simply put she sounds drunk all the time and falls a lot. And she was far more articulate then in Twilight.

sputter Uh, urm a no no no. you you you sputter

So if you are up for a good Kristen Stewart performance, I would suggest The Cake Eaters. Here is a trailer if you don't believe me.

Friday, October 9, 2009

I'll be your lover too

I have been hearing reports that Robert Pattinson might be contributing to the Eclipse soundtrack.If this is the case I hope it goes through.. At the end of Twilight when Bella is dying I was stuck by the haunting music and soulful voice of the singer. I quickly researched it to find out that it was our own Rob. He contributed not one but two beautiful songs to the movie.

I will wrap you in my arms and you'll know you've been saved
I certainly hope that Rob will get to produce at least one song for the soundtrack. I personally would buy anything if he was singing on it. (Who am I kidding I'm this close to buying a 100 monkeys CD) So to sway any naysayers I give you the musical stylings of Robert Pattinson singing my favorite of his songs.

I can't get over how soulful his voice is. He sounds so great and his lyrics are so touching. I can't wait to hear more from him. Also I know that this song is originally a Van Morrison. I just really like Rob's rendition.

Anya Marina Song

Here is a video of Anya Marina's (By the way who cool is that name) new song from the New Moon soundtrack. I wasn't sure at first if I liked the song but now it is really growing on me. The lyrics capture the heartbreak perfectly. I also am starting to like the sound of her voice. Gravely and tormented. I think this song will be perfect in the movie. Sorry for the background noise. It ws the best version I could find.

R.Patz new pictures

I just saw these fabulous pictures of my main man Robert Pattinson I thought I could share the love that is R. Patz

Only he could pull off the fruity scarf

I'll beat up anyone who is mean to Sorrow!

Buy me a drink, sing me a song, take me as I come cause I can't stay long

I think I may have read something about this somewhere....

Alright all together now collective sigh. Ahhh! I'll be on the look out for more Rob Pictures.And I shall leave you with an oldie but goodie.

Sweet sweet lung cancer

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Who am I?

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Pacific Northwest, WA, United States
The (Somewhat) true tales of twenty something northwest woman obsessed with Twilight, Pageants and various shallow things.

The Countdown has begun...

What am I doing here?

Beware of some mature content in here. You've been warned.

This is just the rantings of a woman who is slightly crazy. Obviously I am a bit narcissistic. I have obsessive tendencies toward a multitude of teenage directed materials. I should grow up already-but alas, here I am.


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