"What do we want? Patience! When do we want it? Now!**

Do you remember when you were a child and you had to wait sooooo soooo long for things like Christmas or birthdays or the anniversary of your first bird dying.

(We had a lot of dead parakeets in my home...but that is another post for another time...Also did you know that Budgies and parakeets are the same thing, just English slang according to my Harry Potter Website. I was always imagining a squirrel when some one said Budgies.)

Buffy the Budgie (David Boreanaz not included)

When I was younger I was obsessed with Jewel. The singer. The one with the funky teeth and yodeling voice. The one who wrote a poem about mustard in the refrigerator. (Yes I still remember- it's the important things that stick out to me.)


On her album Spirit she had a song at the very end that she sang with her mother. It was a lullaby that they would sing when Jewel was a child. To listen to this track you had to listen through three whole minutes of white noise before the song started.



Don’t say I was patient at some point. But now, alas I am not. I am a very spontaneous person and have been known to go out and chop off all my hair.

Well Sinead O'Rebellion. Shock me shock me shock me with that deviant behavior.

We have grown too used to getting everything right now. And this whole Twilight obsession hasn't helped me at all. Before New Moon came out I was inundated with pictures and videos and sound clips. (They're not Bears) It was a twi-overdose. It was to the point when I was carped out dreaming of boys with keg bellies and grandpa tweed...

Now there has been news that they will be reshooting some pivotal scenes for Eclipse. I hope to holy Hell that they don't push back the release date because if they do, I swear I will go absolutely ballistic. There is no punishment that will compare to the wrath I shall inflict on...Oh right like I could do anything...Shit.

Whatever. I'll be sending out serious passive aggressive vibes as I wear my Team Edward Shirt, with my twi-bracelet and my twi-scarf and my twi-necklace as I drive in my car with a Be Safe sticker on the back.

So watch it Summit. Cause this Bitch means business!

I typed in crazy and this was the first thing to pop up. I love it.

**Credit to Al Franken

I hope the aliens never come to get me.

Last night I was sitting in my disco tub with the Mr., drinking wine and looking up at the stars. Very romantic, I know. Now, a few days ago Mr. swears that he saw an UFO. Of course me being a fuck-tard, had to start asking him about Aliens. As in Extraterrestrials...as in martians…as in little green men as in…okay, I have no more names for them. I am undecided as to my thoughts on whether or not there are in fact aliens. On one hand it seems like the universe is very expansive and there would be some sort of higher being out there. On the other hand, I’m human, selfish, narcissistic and a bit of a douche bundle. Ergo; I am the highest being any where. Plus I’m American which means that there is no one more fantastic than me…Just ask me.

Although my theories on Aliens are not entirely formed. I have a huge fear of them. If in fact they are real, I have no doubt that they would kidnap me and torture me with things like the Macarena and anal beads bought at your local Castles…(Hey, they’d be investigating our lives, could you blame them?...Not that either one is my life…Fuck…)

Jousting set not included

The Mr. tried to explain why I should be afraid of the visitors from space because the chances of them being sadistic are low. Because friendly aliens are every where.



So, I am terrified by aliens. Ghosts not so much. The basic theories behind ghosts are that they at some point were human, like me. So on some level I’m sure I could related to them, although of course there would be that one asshole ghost who is like that guy at your Halloween party who dresses up as a cowboy, grabs his balls frequently and tries to explain the perks of fucking “a dandy donkey.”

She is really funny too!

But for the most part the ghosts would be fairly nice. With the obvious exception of the psychopathic ghosts. About 0.1 % of the Earths population is psychopaths. We're talking worse than your run of the mill Sebastian Valmount; no were talking Jame Gumb, starving women to wear their skins.

I reason that if the earthly realm has that many, that the ghost world would too. So I will take my chances, that I may some day run into a sociopathic ghost hell bent on killing me. Because that seems better than ET.

Get the fuck away from me!